Dependency.

I have too much time on my hands. Well I'll try blogging more often. I'll probably blog more in mini-blogs rather than long ones cause my brain can't hold that many thoughts. Haha.

I'm watching season one of The Walking Dead right now. It's a popular new series that a lot of people I know have seen, and it's about zombies. I never watch anything zombie-related and Loren lent me the first season of it.

But yeah. I hope you're doing okay. It sounds like you are. I'm just sad to hear about your back or your headaches.. but yeah. I really wish I can do something to help, like drive down and bring you medicine or food or something.

One big thing I remember though when I talked to your sister. Your sister told me something, that you are very dependent on people. And I noticed that, a lot. It's true. You depend on your sister a lot.. or others to give you rides or pay for your food or whatever. Nothing bad about that. You depended on me a lot, and a lot of times I let you down.. But that's the past. For example, when you let yourself drink because you were with older people who were drinking. Or when you had sex and thought it was okay, because I was okay with it (I admit, I failed that too).

Don't worry, I'm way past those mistakes. I fail too.

To be honest, there's nothing wrong with being dependent on others. But one thing that would be cool is to just to be independent sometimes. Depend on God alone, and not resort to people sometimes. I mean it's good to depend on others, but it's also good to be independent. Personally, I think it's an attractive character trait when a girl is independent. Like when Jackie would go to Antioch by herself even when her sisters would not go with her. I could also tell Raelene is independent too.

Of course there is a such thing as being too independent, and disregarding other people. But that's not what I'm trying to get at. What I'm trying to say is, try and develop the habit of initiating decisions on your own. If you know it's wrong, then choose not to do it, even if others around you are. Cliche as heck, but true. If God put a choice in your heart, make that choice and don't let others make that choice for you.

And keep being honest to your parents. I could tell when they sat down with us and they were asking you why you drove up to Temecula, you told them that, "You wanted to help a friend out by giving him a ride." You never said that you headed up here because you wanted to see me... well, not 'til the very end after the bajillionth time your mom asked you why you went to Temecula. But yeah, we both knew that was the main reason you wanted to come up here that day. But don't worry, it's something I've been definitely working on too.

But yeah! Keep doing your thing in college. Make friends. Do well. Heal up. Try working on making decisions on your own. (: I know you can establish that habit, with God on your side.

I miss you.