You keep saying you'd be sad if I was okay while you were typing up your blogs, truth is I'm just as sad as you are.

I've been doing okay. I'm sharing a message at Student Venture Wednesday and leading worship this Thursday. By the grace of God, He's giving me these opportunities, even after my lowest points in sin. Father, please let me not disappoint you but only bring glory to you.

I wonder how the future is going to be like. How college is going to be. Will we be talking? I don't know. Yes God has a will and a person for us. But I don't know. I feel like it is you. I want it to be you. I want to be there until the end, no matter what the hardship or struggle that is in the way. Just as your mom said, "If he is there after college, then he is the one for you."

I wish I can keep up with blogging, I feel bad if you do and I don't.

I still feel terrible, how bad you're hurt. It's there for life.. That is why I always want to know how your back is doing, if it's healing. It's sad to hear that it is still hurting.. I really hope it gets better so you can move out and go to college and find a job. I should've jumped down, even if my mom was downstairs. I should've jumped down first and caught you.

...Better yet, I should've told you to go home. It was in my gut to tell you.

It's funny, to be honest, when it's nighttime and I think about you and how I miss you a lot, and about the sex and thrills, I would actually stop myself from thinking about it. Because I remember how you're hurt because of it, how your back is not doing well at all. Because of my sin, our sin, that was the outcome. What do I get? Nothing?

God, let me not fail you now. Prepare my relationship with you before I'm in a relationship with someone else.

I miss you. I want to talk to you, and just see how your day is. I'm still hurting. But it's for the better. We were so in sin, that we hindered each other from God. Even the strongest Christians have flaws.

It was crazy, when my dad realized you had an x-ray Monday, he freaked out. He knew there was a chance that you would be pregnant (even though I know for sure you're not), because he thinks the x-ray can take out a possible life. While even though that is true, it wouldn't be a living thing yet, because no life has developed yet. So there wouldn't be no harm to anyone. But still.

God you want us back. Have us.

Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?" And I said, "Here am I. Send me!" - Isaiah 6:8

Funny, after hanging out with Karl and Jay today, and staying around the Bible College today, I seriously want to enroll there, after UCI. I think it'll be a cool way to grow into God's Word and Ministry more. It's close to home, so I wouldn't have to dorm. And the classes look cool. God-willing, maybe it'll happen.

Well, that's all I guess for today. Hopefully another tomorrow.

Haha, this video made me smile.